Pathetic, but it worked.

I have a hearing problem that results in my being unable to understand anything said in a noisy environment. It happens in all languages. Knowing this, I prepped for my train ticket purchase by writing down the particulars. The ticket agent was kind. Without too much difficulty, the ticket was purchased. He gave me 45 minutes to change trains at Seoul Station. That's what I wanted/needed. I definitely did not want the itinerary where you only have five minutes to change trains.

I know myself too well. And I know how many times in this life I've ended up in exactly the wrong place at exactly the right time. It's a speciality of mine. I think it's something about my brain, much like my prosopagnosia (face blindness), which frustrates you your entire life, only easing up when you finally realize what is actually going on. Thank you Oliver Sacks and recently Brad Pitt for going public. 

Here's my note for the ticket agent below. I hope my original Korean language teacher, Ms. Kim, is proud of me. I only looked up one word, 혼란스러운 / confused, used in the phrase "confused old foreign guy." It could be the right word, or it could be a word that no Korean person would ever use like this. I have some memory of the word from before, but not for this kind of usage. The note is chock-full of grammar and spelling errors. I salute myself for not going OCD on it. What's written is exactly what I still retain after these many years.

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Pyeongtaek sunset

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Somebody took my idea about "basic"

I have always had this idea about "basic." You could sell products to people like me who don't want the best and don't want the worst, just something good at a decent price. First, Amazon stole the idea with their Amazon Basics. Now I see that my idea has been stolen in Korea as well. If you're not from here, let me introduce you to the No Brand Burger. I've been there twice (on this so-called Get Healthy Trip).

If you have a business idea, but it exists only inside your own head, is it really your idea? I think I know how the courts would rule on this one. Oh, well. The marketing of "basic" products may or may not be my idea, but the concept certainly works on me. 

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August 18th supply run

The best score was the fruit knife. Made in Japan, it works great. I'm thinking of taking it back to Thailand, which will mean checking my backpack at the airport, which will mean having to wrap the backpack in plastic. Maybe I'll give it away. Who knows, and it doesn't matter today anyway. There's plenty of fruit yet to be cut in the next few weeks.

I should also mention the homemade apple pie at the right front. It was excellent. I bought it from a nice lady at the old school Tongbok Market a couple of kilometers from here. Not only was the pie excellent, with plenty of apples and just the right spices, but I have a MIF (mental image flash) of my interaction with the Pie Lady.

Me: Hands the pie lady some old bills from way before they changed their currency.

Pie Lady: "옛날 돈. / Old money."

Me: "옛날 돈. 옛날 사람. / Old money. Old guy."

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KBS radio is still excellent.

I can report that KBS radio is still excellent in 2022. I went to bed at 22:00, hoping to get up early, well-rested for my noon train to Kangneung via Seoul. But I woke up hard at 03:00, and it's been me and the KBS DJs ever since. I finally gave up at 05:00, just after the national anthem to start the day, and said, "F it. I'll just play on the computer."

I thought about a lot of stuff during that two hours of lying there listening to KBS. My condolences to the families and friends of U.S. Army Captain Arthur Bonifas and 1st Lieutenant Mark Barrett, killed over a stupid argument about trimming a tree. That's probably where my Korean journey began.

Korea has excellent music. I'm not sure if it's because of their excellent music education, where so many people grow up learning to read music and play the piano. At any rate, they have loads of great singers and great musicians. It goes back decades.

And maybe one day this country will become whole again. Its separation remains an open wound. In fact, let Mr. Don Quixote do his bit: "Kim family of the northern part of Korea. I implore you to federate with the southern part of Korea now. You need each other. You'll be great together. Finally, things will back in balance in this wonderful land."

I'm not completely insane--yet. I realize that the Kim family in charge of the northern part of Korea are not likely to listen to me. Indeed, they will probably continue to be unaware of my existence. But the sentiment remains nevertheless. It really would be great for all of Korea to be Korea, not split into this crazy divorce scenario that just goes on and on generation after generation.

One can dream, can't they? Or at least one can think about a lot of things while lying in bed unable to sleep for whatever reason. If I'm to suffer from a bit of insomnia, I can think of no better way to do it than listening to KBS radio. Great music and great use of the Korean language. Consider me as a fan.

I am widely known at Google and Microsoft, by some not-so-nice nicknames.

It's true that I provide a lot of feedback to Google and Microsoft on their desktop and mobile applications. I mean, I even list it as my current job on my LinkedIn profile. I do a lot of feedback on Google Maps, often contacting them while in frustration mode after yet another navigation failure. I sent them one yesterday: "Google Maps is not a navigation app. It's a torture app." I hope they like that one because that is exactly how I felt. I'm out here in various countries doing real-world testing and very often they come up way short. In their defense, it is not easy at all to be worldwide. Still, I push them to do better. I definitely let them know when things don't work. Consider it, I guess, as the modern equivalent of the old guy yelling at kids to "Get off my lawn!!!"

Microsoft gets plenty of feedback as well, especially regarding security hoops that make no sense outside the U.S. And I never stop picking at their To Do app, which I over-extend as a project management application, including for trip planning. I can't even remember what I sent them last because it's a constant stream. Wait a minute! It was actually a compliment on their use of standard schoolboy fonts for Thai language, which is great for usability and helps so many people successfully read in Thai. (Google, on the other hand, was vehemently criticized--again--for their use of "cool" but damn near unreadable Thai language fonts on Android and Chromebooks.)

At any rate, I have established that I provide a significant amount of feedback to Google and Microsoft. That's not the interesting part. The interesting part is the nicknames their employees use to refer to me, often based on my own words from the feedback provided. Here's a list of their most common nicknames for me below, sorted in alphabetical order because they keep adding more:

• Beavis and/or Butthead - Maybe because Beavis and Butthead use words like dumbass a lot?
  
  
• Billy from the Hills - Related to my use of Punky Hillbilly, someone at Google/Microsoft was apparently aware of Mr. Greg Brown's excellent tune Billy from the Hills.
  
  
• Corn Boy - Loyal to my roots. What can I say?
  
  
• dumbass - Probably because I overuse this word in nearly every feedback item I submit.
  
  
• Fruitcake - They make fun of me because I'm one of a proud few who enjoy fruitcake.
  
  
• Fumble Bumble  - I used Mr. Fumble and Bumble in one post, and now they use it against me as a term of derision.
  
  
• Insano - Not sure where they got this one. Seems a bit harsh.
  
  
• OCD Jerry- Multiple references in multiple posts.
  
  
• Old Grizzled - I kind of dubbed myself Old Grizzled, and they picked up on the usage.
  
  
• Punky - From my use of the name Punky Hillbilly, which is kind of who I am.
  
  

Those are the only nicknames they use for me that I have been able to confirm, but there are probably more. So be it. I have no intention of stopping my crusade. Websites and applications should work properly.

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I am a professional low-budget traveller and a professional dumbass.

I am a professional low-budget traveller. In the year 2022, I'm still stuck on a limit of USD 30 per night for a hotel/motel room. This is the same limit from my youth. I hope to take this limit to my grave, but we shall see. The world never stops changing, and maybe one day I'll have to change too--or die first.

I have the luxury of being able to break this limit when necessary, but I try not to put myself in such a position. Never mind all that anyway. My thriftiness (cheapness) is widely known, so there's no reason for me to write about it. I mean, I am a self-described professional low-budget traveller after all. This post is not intended to be about hotels/motels. It's supposed to be about boots/shoes. 

In preparation for a month-long hiking trip in the mountains, any reasonably coherent person would check their gear prior to packing. My excuse for not doing so? I was melting in the heat and humidity of Thailand, from which I ran away screaming, "I can't take it anymore." Still, I had plenty of time for a gear inspection that I never did. My excuse is just an excuse, a pathetic attempt to cover my failure with words.

I love my Ecco boots. They have given me many years of faithful service, but maybe too much service for too many years as it turns out. I wore them on the plane from Thailand to Korea. Everything seemed normal. They seemed to be the same reliable boots they always were. I walked 11 kilometers in them yesterday, and everything seemed okay. Sure, I saw some unidentified black stuff on my motel room floor, but I blamed it on the motel. 

Now my beloved Ecco boots are in a trashcan in a shoe store at AK Plaza, attached to Pyeongtaek Station. There was no reason to keep them. They are completely gone--unusable and beyond repair. They have been replaced by an excellent pair of New Balance 878 running shoes? Walking shoes? Five minutes of fruitless Internet searching yields no decent link. You know how that goes. You finally give up, thinking: "F the Internet." Or at least I do. One thing is certain: These brand new, US size 11 New Balance shoes are a whole lot better than my broken down, aged-out-of-service Ecco boots. They have already passed a walking test. How they'll do for mountain hiking we shall see beginning soon.

To the employees of Microsoft and Google, to whom I provide so much feedback, let me clearly state: "I am a dumbass. I failed to check my hiking gear prior to packing it and using it. 64 years old, and evidently I still have no sense at all."

Let me thank the following folks: The young lady at the bakery who directed me to a shoe store. The young lady at the shoe store who directed me to AK Plaza. The gentleman at AK Plaza who directed me from his section of fancy shoes to the hidden sneaker section. And finally the young guys at the sneaker section who found a rare US size 11 shoe that should meet my walking/hiking needs.

My crime: failure to inspect my gear prior to a hiking trip

My penalty: forced purchase of a pair of New Balance 878 shoes at the price of USD 97.68 / KRW 129,000

Cheap bastard that I am, I am fully aware that I could have purchased these shoes much cheaper at Ross, Marshalls, or Nordstrom Rack in California. But I'm not in California. I'm in Pyeongtaek, where I was damn lucky to find a good pair of shoes in my size. The self-professed professional low budget traveller had to spend some serious money. But if I'm going to spend money in Korea, I'm happy to spend it here in Pyeongtaek. This is a good town with good people. Their acceptance of the sudden reappearance of an alien from another planet is greatly appreciated.

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Sanitarium Trip: There is no way to explain it, really.

I'm currently on a one month Sanitarium Trip in Korea. I have shocked my family and friends, so please allow me to attempt a brief explanation. I live in Thailand, where it is hot or extremely hot year-round. It is also humid or extremely humid much of the year. There is also plenty of air pollution, especially for me in the form of diesel fumes. Overall, Thailand is a wonderful country, but the weather and the diesel fumes are not part of that wonder. Well... Maybe the weather is part of the wonder. If so, it proves the maxim that too much of a good thing can be bad.

I can do hot and humid weather. I grew up in 18 hears of hot and sticky Ohio River summers. I did 11 years of oppressive rainy seasons in Korea. I can handle this weather for two or three months.

Thailand is different. Near the equator, the sun is not your friend, but rather it's like being inside a large microwave oven. You have to hide yourself from the sun--always. The heat is relentless, with little to no relief at night. In the lengthy rainy season, the question is: How many showers today? Three or four on a slow day, and up to four or five per day when you try to be active. (Hyperbole warning: Actual numbers are less.) There is no relief whatsoever for most of the year, with the exception being October through February, when conditions change from intolerable to tolerable for nearly four blessed months.

It was the Covid Years when I made my deal with the devil. I went to him, and I said: "Devil. I got this hypothyroid thing going on, and my hands and feet are always cold. I mean, when other people are out in T-shirts, I'm dressed for a winter trip to the Sierra Mountains. I just get cold." The devil, he looked at me with what seemed like just the hint of a sly grin, and he replied simply: "Deal done." That was it. That was when I made my deal with the devil to never be cold again. 

To his credit, the devil has kept his end of the bargain. Since I got to Thailand, I have never once been cold. You might even say that the devil under-promised and over-delivered. When I go swimming, it's like being in a warm bathtub. Touch any metal object exposed to the full sun all day and you'll burn your hand. Chocolate? Thailand can fix your sweet tooth. Imagine being hot and sweaty and treating yourself to a liquid mess of what once was a chocolate bar. Good riddance to chocolate, anyway. 

In the end, all the above descriptions of Southeast Asia's hot weather are destined to fail. It cannot be described, only experienced. For me, I got there in December, enjoyed a couple months of tolerable weather, and then held on until mid-August, when I simply couldn't take it anymore. As they say in mixed martial arts bouts, I tapped out. 

I tapped out of the hot and sticky rainy season for a month. When I go back to Thailand in late September, we'll be almost to tolerable weather, and life will be good again. The biggest problem for me is being locked inside by the heat. I can take it for a few months, but this year, my first year, I couldn't take it for the full eight months. Other people can. City slickers who don't mind being locked indoors all the time are fine. The Thai people can take it. Forged in the fire, they are incredibly tough. But for nature boys and girls, the people who have to be outside a lot, I don't know. Even if you could do it, the question would remain: Why would you do it if you didn't absolutely have to?

The Much-Beloved Fat Dog Syndrome

Veterinarians often write of the Much-Beloved Fat Dog Syndrome. These are cases where people love their dogs (and cats) so much that they feed them nearly to death. You have seen these fat dogs just like I have. You know as I do how very much these owners love their dogs (and cats).

But did you know that the Fat Dog Syndrome applies to humans as well? I know a guy who lives in a country where eating delicious food all day long is a national pastime. His partner loves him, and she feeds him all kinds of delicious foods all the time. I mean all the time. And I mean large amounts. I mean to the point that when he stops to think about it, he says he feels like The Fatted Calf. He's not complaining, mind you. Indeed, he is grateful for having someone who loves him. But still... There is a line. On one side is eating, and on the other side is gluttony and its associated obesity. To be clear, there is only one person he blames for his overeating, for following a clear path to an early death: himself.

The fat dogs (and cats) you see are going to die early. Their owner's love is, unfortunately, a sentence to an early death. Granted, these dogs may enjoy their eating greatly, but might they not also have greatly enjoyed being athletic, running and playing at their optimum physical condition? Ask the dogs, and they'll give you whatever answer you want to hear. Dogs are so agreeable. Ask my friend in another country, and he'll give you whatever answer you want to hear. Born in the Year of the Dog (1958), he is so agreeable.

Let's play ball? Nah. Maybe next time...

Mission accomplished: Healthy food scored.

It cost me at least five kilometers of walking and some time, which I have in abundance. But the mission was accomplished. I finally scored some healthy food. If you know anything about me, you know that I am too stupid and too stubborn to give up--even when it's the most reasonable course of action. It could have been sixteen kilometers and the whole day. I guess I got lucky.

Note that my failure to buy a Maggi-like sauce for the eggs was a deliberate, albeit now-regrettable choice due to backpack weight limitations. Not having any salt and pepper packets in my backpack, however, is a crime against travel planning. That wonderful lightweight item should be on every packing checklist.

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P.S. The bananas were not tasty at all. I have been spoiled by a variety of fresh, delicious bananas in Thailand, often purchased at fresh fruit markets.