I must admit that Google Earth was excellent for navigating around Gangneung today.

I have an admission. Google Earth was excellent for navigating around Gangneung today. Is it possible that I, known to be prone to frequent episodes of dumbassery, have been using the wrong app (Google Maps) for my use case (walking in Korean cities and towns)? 

Thank you, Googlers who work or have worked on Google Earth. It works very well--dare I say, excellently, for walking around Gangneung.

Now I understand what my mom was talking about when she talked about Solitaire.

My mom used to talk about playing Solitaire in a bit of a strange way, kind of like she was disappointed with herself for playing it. At the time, I didn't understand. But now, having wasted hundreds of hours playing Solitaire on my phone, I understand exactly what she meant. Nobody at Saint Peter's pearly gates ever said, "Gee. I wish I would have spent more time alone in my room playing Solitaire."

Now get on out there and live!!! (Said to myself as much as to anyone else.)

20220821

P.S. I won this game. I'm just saying...

The perfect shave

Did you know that hair conditioner used as shaving cream may work better than actual shaving cream? I couldn't believe it, but it's true. That's not all I learned. The DORCO disposable razors that we used to make fun of back in the day are actually excellent. Who knew? (Probably people who actually used them...)

For my money, you can't beat the combination of a DORCO and hair conditioner as shaving cream. The perfect shave.

20220821

Confused old foreigner at the laundromat: Did you think this was going to be easy? Hint: Hell, no!!!

Despite the arduous journey to the laundromat, the Friday evening was still young. It was still light outside. Let the youth enjoy their Friday evenings with food and laughter and fun. The old guy's got laundry to do. Either that, or wear dirty, sweaty clothes.

Into the Aqua Wash I go. "Oh. A screen. It says start here. Okay." And I immediately let myself get sucked into the screen. I did NOT take a proper look at the washers and dryers, maybe a quick glance, but that's about it. Can I blame this failure on Microsoft and Google? On smartphones and computers? Am I so drawn to screens that I ignore everything around me in my physical environment? Has my assimilation into The Borg that the Internet represents caused thought defects? Presence of mind defects? I have no way to know. Maybe I've always been like this, and if it wasn't the screens it would be something else. Let me tell you the story.

Maybe because it was a Friday evening, I was the only person in the laundromat. There was nobody around to ask for assistance. Like I said, I got sucked straight into the screen. 

1. Select language: ENGLISH
   
   
2. Press here to become a member
   
   
3. Enter your telephone number
   (Formatted for Korean phone numbers only, which I do not have.)
   "Okay. I'll put in a fake phone number."
   
   
4. Enter a four-digit password
   "Okay, I'll put in an easy-to-remember password. Same as some of my other passwords? No. Too dangerous. Use something unique, but easy to remember."
   
   
5. Deposit enough money to pay for a load of laundry
   (How much is enough? Are there different prices for different size loads? What do these numbers mean? 39', 43', etc.)
   "F-ing hell. I don't know. How am I supposed to know?"
   
   
6. Deposits 6000 Korean won / USD 4.50
   (4000 Korean won would have been enough as it turns out...)
   
   
7. Use Washer #1
   (Goes to Washer #1, where absolutely nothing is happening. All instructions are in Korean.)
   "Give me a couple of days, and I'm sure I can work it out. For now, I am F-ed."
   
   
8. "Now what? Now F-ing what?And where's the laundry detergent. There's none in here. Do I have to go over to the convenience store and buy some? Why do they have Bounce laundry sheets, but no detergent?"
   
   
9. Purchases a "Bounce" for Korean won 500 / USD 0.37, on the long shot hope that maybe it's laundry detergent.
   (Of course, it's not. It's just a couple of Bounce dryer sheets as you would expect.)
   
   
10. Gives up, massively frustrated.
    "F. I was tested and I failed. I failed the test of doing laundry in Korea the first time."

Having failed the test, I took my dirty clothes out of Washer #1, put them in my backpack, and went outside, where I could take off my Covid mask for air. Yes, I was doing all the steps above with a Covid mask on, hardly able to breathe, as my frustration mounted and finally peaked.

The air helped. Taking a break helped. After a while, I went back inside (masked of course). "Let me see here." I started taking a proper look at the washers. "Hmm. Coins. Price based on load size. I don't have much. I saw a machine for changing bills into coins. Here it is." Now I had a bunch of coins, more than enough for my small load of laundry. "Still, no laundry detergent, but F it. Some cleaning's better than no cleaning at all." I put in the proper amount of coins, selected the water temperature (medium), pressed start, and I was off to the races.

Imagine my joy at seeing lots of soap bubbles. "Oh. The detergent is automatically included. Why didn't you F-ing tell me!!!" But I wasn't too bitter. Rather, I was happy not to be a total loser who couldn't do his laundry at the laundromat. Forty minutes later, the laundry was done. I took out the clothes and headed for the dryers, where there was only one glitch. What I thought was the Start button on the screen didn't work, but I quickly found a physical start button above the screen.

To celebrate my victory, I actually folded my laundry, with the exception of underwear and socks, which will never be folded by this low-budget traveller because to do so would make no sense. The seven-kilometer walk back to the motel had no errors as I had begun learning some streets. Straight back I proceeded, arriving at the motel room quite tired.

Penalty for not properly inspecting physical environment prior to getting sucked into a screen: 6000 Korean won / USD 4.50

20220819

Mission: Find a laundromat.

The low-budget traveller is on the road for a month, living out of a single backpack. I don't mean a proper backpack like hikers use. I mean pretty much a book/computer backpack, the kind that gets used for school. Stuffed full, it could break at any moment. But then, so could the old guy carrying it. For now, they both persevere.

I have about four days worth of clothes, maybe only three if this humid weather continues. I'll probably be doing laundry at least seven or eight times. So it is not a task that can be avoided. And avoid it, I did not. Shortly after dropping off my possessions at the motel, I headed out to do a load of laundry. First issue: Where is a laundromat? Allow me to state that nearly 24 hours after the fact, my rage at Google Maps has not completely subsided. When I say it's a torture app, and not a navigation app, that's not a joke. I mean it quite sincerely. I suspect that the employees at Google Maps have it in for Dumbass, Old Grizzled, Fumble Bumble, as they call me internally. 

The good part about Google Maps being useless for finding a laundromat in Gangneung is that you get to talk to some people. First up was the motel owner, a wonderful young guy who pointed me in the right direction, from which I quickly veered off course. 

Then I met a bright young lady from some Western country at a bus stop. I am still kicking myself in the ass for not being able to identify her nationality based on her speech. She could have been American, but something was different. She certainly spoke Korean well. She did a great job of getting nearby laundromat information from the Korean student girls at the bus stop. (I couldn't ask them myself. Not proper.) I was hoping she lived in town and knew it well, but it sounds like she was a recent arrival, albeit not as recent an arrival as myself at the one-hour-in-town mark.

They gave me great directions: "Just walk straight up there and turn right at the convenience store." I walked straight up there and straight up there some more, and there was never a convenience store. But this is not unusual for me. Operating at 50% comprehension, I often get things wrong--in all languages. Strangely, I don't mind too much right now. The main purpose of this trip is to get healthy, and I planned on doing a lot of walking and hiking. That I have put in a lot of kilometers walking while lost is but a bonus. And it is, after all, a great way to learn your way around. Let me put in a plug here for Dr. Seuss' Cat in the Hat's concept of Calculatus Eliminatus, which has influenced me greatly in my life: "The way to find a missing something is to find out where it's not."

And find out where a laundromat was not, I certainly did. There was no laundromat on the road along the river. Nor was there a laundromat as I walked on and on in the rain (and humidity!!!) under my umbrella. Desperate, I turned back to my torturer, Google Maps. With exquisite torture technique, they showed my blue dot getting closer and closer to the destination until I was upon it. Great! A childcare center and a playground. I'm sure they'd like to have a sweaty old foreigner hanging around the daycare. Well-done, Googlers!!! You got me again.

Like a hostage with Stockholm Syndrome, and no one around to ask, I gave myself up to the Google Maps torture session. They threw up more of their alleged laundromat red flags on the screen, and like the dumbass that I am, I walked--and walked. Towards the real or fake red flag I was driven. Despite my frequent protestations, I have been assimilated just like Star Trek's Captain Picard into The Borg. "F-ing hell. They've got me, and I'll never again be free."

I closed in on the laundromat red flag, Nothing. I went past it. Nothing. But then--humans!!! Two old guys about my age, maybe a bit older, were standing on the corner smoking cigarettes. Now we're talking. These two old guys took up the challenge exactly as I would if you asked me for directions in my home neighborhood. There was some debate between them: "F that. That's too far." "What about over there?" "Yeah, that's close." In agreement, they switched to giving directions mode: "Go up there (pointing). Turn left at the big road. Go about two hundred meters. There's a big building at the entrance to the apartment complex. There's a laundromat in that building."

I followed their instructions exactly, and that's exactly where the laundromat was. Oh, poor, pathetic Google Maps. You have no idea how vastly worse you are in comparison to what those two guys did. Go ahead. Proceed onward with your mechanization of the world. I want no part of it. You've already destroyed a vast quantity of human memory, of knowledge, of memorization strategies and techniques. My God! What are you doing to our brains? And for what? On the road, your Google Maps seldom works, to the point that I'm surprised on those rare occasions when it does work.

But quit you, I cannot. I am your torture victim, and I have been assimilated.

화부산 / Hwabusan right near Gangeung Train Station

With all due respect to the mountain spirits, thank you for letting me climb to the top of 화부산 / Hwabusan, right near the Gangneung Train Station. Even while walking on the sidewalk, long before the entrance, I could smell that beautiful Korean forest smell. The trails are great, extremely well-maintained, making this an easy-enough hike for old folks.

20220820

In Gangneung, lots of people have vegetable patches.

In Gangneung, lots of people have vegetable patches, in most places where vegetable patches can be had. Good for them. Great fresh vegetables here.

20220820

Gangeung Train Station

20220820

Mr. Fumble and Bumble

I shall call myself Mr. Fumble and Bumble because that is who I am and that is what I do. This behavior of mine can be observed in any country, but is most frequently observed in Thailand, Korea, and California. It goes way deeper than language capability and cultural/systems differences between countries. Maybe there have been too many language experiments, too much field study, too many immersions.

Feel sympathy for Mr. Fumble and Bumble if you must. He would not have it any other way. Fumbling, bumbling, and stumbling his way around, all kinds of people help him out. For this, he is very, very grateful.

My first real food

Today, I had the pleasure of eating my first real food since I got here about five days ago. Two mistakes were required to make it happen. First was when I asked the front desk about ordering some 감자탕 / potato soup from their menu. Their response, after some initial confusion: "Dumbass. That's not our menu. That's a restaurant take-out menu." (I added the dumbass part myself, of course.) 

Then the super-nice front desk lady walked me a full block to a potato soup restaurant on the main street. She escorted me inside. (Perhaps sensing my desperation for a real meal? Maybe she read my previous post about the No Brand Burgers that I subsisted on in Pyeongtaek?) I think she told the restaurant lady I was looking for potato soup. And there may have been a bit more to the conversation. You do understand, don't you, that between missing language and my hearing issues I'm operating at about 50% comprehension?,

At any rate, the restaurant lady served me up a wonderful meal, a full set: meat bone soup, sauce for the meat, three kinds of kimchi, and rice--beautiful, wonderful rice. As the first real meal I've had here in five days, it was excellent. Perfect. It couldn't have been better.

There was, however, one slightly troubling aspect, and that involves the second mistake. While I was eating it, I was facing the menu board and looking at the menu items and prices. One stood out: Potato Soup at USD 27. I thought about it. I mean, they had to cook the meat for hours in order for the meat to fall off the bone like it did. The price is fair enough if you consider all that. I also saw several other menu items in the USD 7 range for ordering next time. I made my peace with a one-time purchase of Kangwon Province's famous potato soup for USD 27.

I dug deep into the passport bag for a 50,000 Korean won bill (USD 38). I hold onto those really, really tight. This was a one-time splurge. The kindly restaurant guy takes my 50,000 won bill and comes back with 40,000. As a student of Cool Hand Luke, I said nothing--I just played it cool. A bit later, after putting my shoes back on, it was time to take my leave.

Me to the kindly restaurant guy: "That was my first time eating Kangwon Province potato soup, and it was great."

Restaurant guy: "Thank you."

Restaurant lady: Audible-even-to-a-deaf-guy laughter from her in the kitchen area.

Me: "Hmm..." 

I got back to the motel room and cleared my pockets like all absent-minded low-budget travellers do. I mean, you never know what you'll learn or remember. What I learned in this case was that I had not, in fact, eaten the famous Kangwon Province potato soup. Rather, they had--quite astutely and appropriately--substituted USD 7 Ox Bone Soup for the USD 27 Potato Soup. 

There are a few possibilities, listed below in order of probability.

• The Potato Soup could have been one of those dishes for two or more people. There are many such dishes.
  
  
• They ID'd me as a low-budget traveller.
  
  
• They are reading my posts in English. (Not likely given that Gangeung posts began only today.)

In conclusion, my reputation as a professional low-budget traveller remains intact. I have yet to taste the famous Kangwon Province soup. Something to look forward to because I'm here for a while.

20220820 - Excellent Ox Bone Haejangguk